Diet's Really???

Diet that word should be categorized with all the cuss words. It is a joke word a word that gives you false hope. It is a word you start and inevitably fails. I talk for myself so don't get all uppity! I have been down the diet road in my life believe me. Now back in the day when I was young, beautiful, intelligent, sexy, saucy, funny, compassionate the list goes on and on.

That picture there to the left yes that is me on yet another diet that wanted me to take a picture. Shit first off my posture sucks. Next is that a sports bra or and old do it your elf sweat sash! And what am I looking at ???? And seriously the baseball cap backwards. Ok New Kid on the Block!!!  And last but not least who the Fock took my Ass!

And yes that is a phone jack for my "Land Line"



I will give you just a sample of the "diet's" I have attempted...

Low Fat
High Protein
Atkins
Weight Watchers
Low Calorie
Cleanse 30-60 and 90 day
Juice Fasting
Go Green Diet
Low Carb Diet
The Morning Banana Diet (yes it exists)
The Bible Diet (Thank you Baby Jesus)
Gluten Free Diet

This list is endless you could actually search this blog for weight and so many post are about that shit!  I still have that same 13.5 15 20 pounds that I want so baldy to lose. Well to be honest when I first got married I got happy and made it up to 173 NO SHIT SHERLOCK! Let me find a picture somewhere possible..LOL

Now do not get me wrong when I focus on something it gets done! Eventually!

I am not going to bore you with the details of all the lost diet's of yester-year. Some won some lost but all in all the weight just kept comin' on back. I think the weigh felt the love. I am going to skip right into the present. Rather than keep saving all my size 5 7 ok ok 9 pants I might just embrace the Senior look of the elastic high waist-ed Mom Jeans. Or go to Lane Bryant and get some Elastic Capri's.

Gotta run and find a new diet to focus on!!!! Got Ya!!! 

Yaya's Plane Ride's

Ok this is going to be an ongoing story. I now fly up to Oaktown to take care of my little Bean. That would be Harper Lily my first human grandbaybay.Yes, that is her in the photo bald and barely able to know what the hell I am doing! Her face says it all.

"Who the F>>>> are you?"





My Bean will be mentioned in many post's but I so need to to talk about flying in the airplane to get up North. I am not a willing passenger but for the Bean I will do "most" anything. So every other week I fly to Oakland to babysit this little Bean. I fly Southwest and they are probably the easiest and most convenient airlines and the prices can not be beat.

So this is the most of the window view you will EVER see when I fly. Once I see the tires move and the tar-mack down it goes. So this trip was super special. OK I get on the plane snag my seat the last seat back of the plane inside seat so I have control over the window shade!!



This is important as once I had no choice but to sit in the middle and the window seat would not close the window. Plus I got the bonus speech of how beautiful it all is when flying. I did almost barf on his lap but just kept that despicable smile going. Asshole !!

So I get all comfy. Seat belt Check - Earphones Check - Word Search Check - Idiotic Kings Game Check - Locate Barf Bag. Now it is time for everyone to pay attention they are going to tell ME how to survive the crash. I even sit up a little as to not miss any instructions and make sure I know how to blow up the vest !!!!!

Ok and we are off. About 15 minutes into the flight Window man is suspiciously quite then there it is. "The Smell" What the Baby Jesus is that smell ??? Ok it is just a little gas Lani just relax it will dissipate! Oh Hell NO it goes on the whole flight. What can I do I am trapped dare I get up to go to the bathroom and we get into a situation and I do not have my yellow vest in case of a water evacuation!!!   My coffee ... OK yes I drink coffee on the plane it calms me!!!! Don't Judge people this is my story!!!

Now we have landed and I smell like a land fill but that's ok he will go on his merry way. Oh no it gets better he is smiling at this woman and she does a little wink and nod. Well comes to find out they are married. No shit and she knew better then to sit by her stinky ass husband. You think she might have warned the fellow passengers! They looked so happy as I walked away wilted from the whole experience!



Even little Harper was home praying for Yaya!

xoxo